Midnight Gospel

[Mr. Blackwell]

I can tell you nothing new. We who remain have been here for a very long time. We pretty much know each other and I think of you all as friends. I would love nothing more than to meet each and every one of you in person. Be that as it may I am at least content to enjoy the exchanges we engage in here on this forum. As many of you are aware of, my life is changing in ways I neither anticipated nor wanted. I adapt. What choice do I have? There is a cartoon series that I like but do not follow closely call the Midnight Gospel. It's very heady. Not geared towards children. I stumbled across this edited fan made clip a coulple weeks ago. I cried as I watched it. I have cried more in the last two years than I have in my entire life. I share this clip with you guys now not because I want to share my pain but because there is a message of hope within in it that resonates with me and that is what I want to share along with my comment to the video on youtube wich summarizes my current state of living. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXSU4L3ih7U&lc=Ugwn18w6L2Bg3C06_bJ4AaABAg.9hVpadMTN8M9kY1YHZFs3c

I remember when my mom's health started failing. She spent the last 15 years of her life in a wheel chair. Before the pandemic hit I was diagnosed with a couple of problems she had been diagnosed with when she was my age. A couple years later she died. I talked about my concerns for my health with my wife. Fast forward a few months and we are getting divorced. A quick summary, my health starts failing. Mom dies. Wife leaves me and I loose my job. Now she's concerned about child support while I live in my father's basement.

Had an interview for a job yesterday 5 hours away from where I am and came back today to sign the divorce papers. Don't know if I got the job or not. I feel like the interview went well but....

[Meat]

I have faith in you B. I had a tough run a few months back but now I'm on top of the world!

[ak.yonathan]

You're from the USA, right Mr. B? I don't think I'll be travelling there any time soon. I have to finish my studies here. Maybe I will go there after that, or maybe I will settle down here in Indonesia. We'll see.

Sent from my M2103K19G using Tapatalk

[Dexter]

I liked that clip. Thanks Mr B

[Meat]

Try getting a dog and taking it for walks. You'll have more chickies approaching you than you can shake a stick at. Great for your mental health and physical health too.

[meAgain]

 I would love nothing more than to meet each and every one of you in person.

Ditto Mr. B. 
 
I'm sorry you are going thru rough times.  You are in my prayers.  And I don't mean to make this about religion, but with Pope Benedict's recent death, I've been reading a lot of his past writings.  I just read this one today, so I will share.  I think it shows how other people in this world always have the ability to take something away from us.  They can hurt us in unimaginable ways, whether they are strangers or close family members.  And so that is often our constant fear in this life.  But Ben 16 reminds us, we need not be afraid.  Please take care of yourself . . .

 
"His words constantly echo in my ears: 'Do not be afraid! Open wide the doors for Christ!' ... Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? ... If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us?  Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? ...
 
"No!

If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing
of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! ... On the basis of long
personal experience of life, I say to you ... Do not be afraid of Christ! He
takes nothing away, and he gives you everything."

[Meat]

How goes it Mr B?

[Emma286]

Interesting video Mr Blackwell, thanks for the share!

[Maria-Juana]

Aww. Mr. B.
I'm sorry to hear about everything you're going through. Some years are bumpier than others. I admire your strength.

It's so sad and painful when those we love and think love us back,  leave us when we need them the most. I'm sure you'll bounce back. Like you said:

" I adapt. What choice do I have?"

—That's the best attitude, Mr. B.

I share this clip with you guys now not because I want to share my pain but because there is a message of hope within it ...

I don't mind you sharing your pain with me/us. Some of us are strong enough right now to help you carry it. Unfortunately, because of the distance between us, we can only hear you speak, and this is our way of letting you know that you are not alone.

Even in your pain, you want to share the message of hope with us. That says a lot about the type of person you are. 
— You inspire me. I hope I can be as strong as you if I ever find myself in a similar situation.

One day at a time, my friend.

[8livesleft]

Hang on to hope, Mr. B. All things have their limits, even this situation you're going through isn't permanent. Look into your past and remember your strength. 

Hope, strength and patience. 

[Maria-Juana]

Hang on to hope, Mr. B.
...Look into your past and remember your strength.
...

Yes!
The last thing I told my friends at the last forum, the day I left was: "I just have to remember what my life was like before I met you guys."
I remember a better version of me, from a long time ago, when they weren't in my life. Not that they made me bad, it was just my way of saying: "I'll be OK without all of you in my life, after so many years."

...
Look into your past and remember your strength.

Yes! It's still there, Mr. B.

[Mr. Blackwell]

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

[Mr. Blackwell]

How goes it Mr B?

[8livesleft]

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

You can do it Mr.B!!! 

Glad you're reconnecting with your dad.

[Mr. Blackwell]

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

You can do it Mr.B!!!

Glad you're reconnecting with your dad.

Father.

There is a difference in my mind. Father was the man who got my mom pregnant with me. Dad is the man she later married who helped raise me. I am now getting to know my father.

[8livesleft]

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

You can do it Mr.B!!!

Glad you're reconnecting with your dad.

Father.

There is a difference in my mind. Father was the man who got my mom pregnant with me. Dad is the man she later married who helped raise me. I am now getting to know my father.

Ah ok yes that's an important distinction. Either way, it sounds like you're in good terms with both? That's a good thing. 

[Emma286]

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

You can do it Mr.B!!!

Glad you're reconnecting with your dad.

Father.

There is a difference in my mind. Father was the man who got my mom pregnant with me. Dad is the man she later married who helped raise me. I am now getting to know my father.

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

You can do it Mr.B!!!

Glad you're reconnecting with your dad.

Father.

There is a difference in my mind. Father was the man who got my mom pregnant with me. Dad is the man she later married who helped raise me. I am now getting to know my father.

I forgot I even made this thread. Thank you all for your support. Yeah, I will get through this and things will change for the better because it can't get much worse. Talking with my father has actually helped a little. That man has been through 4 divorces. Living alone now, except for the basement troll (me). He manages so I know I can too. I don't think he understands how he currently inspires me but I will eventually find a way to tell him and my dad too. The man who married my mom and helped raise me after my mother divorced my father. I can remember the first time I met my father. I can remember the first time I called mom's boyfriend dad. If push came to shove I could stay with him too. He lives in another state but where I live, I'm only an hour away from three different states. My options are wide open and I am looking into all of them. I just don't know how to sell myself or market my skills against my age and history. But I am working on it.

You can do it Mr.B!!!

Glad you're reconnecting with your dad.

Father.

There is a difference in my mind. Father was the man who got my mom pregnant with me. Dad is the man she later married who helped raise me. I am now getting to know my father.

A useful way to think about it I think. Can well imagine that it would have fast got confusing to call both of them by the same label - especially as the nature of your relationships with them over the years has been as different as it has. 

[Meat]

Did you get a dog yet B? AKA chick magnet. 

[Mr. Blackwell]

Did you get a dog yet B? AKA chick magnet. 

Not yet. I mean, there is still Bo. He stays at the house with Mrs. B and the kids because they have a fenced in yard. I do not know how to train dogs so he is, unruly. And large. Getting old but still basically ferral.

Anyway. I have news!

Spent the last two days in middle Tennessee. Walked away with a job. Start March, 13th. Blew my nephew's mind. He works there. He said he has never seen anyone walk in for an interview and get an offer same day.

They even gave me what I asked for in pay. Starting out entry level making more an hour than I ever have in my life. Makes me wonder if I should have asked for more...

[Maria-Juana]

Did you get a dog yet B? AKA chick magnet. 

Not yet. I mean, there is still Bo. He stays at the house with Mrs. B and the kids because they have a fenced in yard. I do not know how to train dogs so he is, unruly. And large. Getting old but still basically ferral.

Anyway. I have news!

Spent the last two days in middle Tennessee. Walked away with a job. Start March, 13th. Blew my nephew's mind. He works there. He said he has never seen anyone walk in for an interview and get an offer same day.

They even gave me what I asked for in pay. Starting out entry level making more an hour than I ever have in my life. Makes me wonder if I should have asked for more...

Congratulations, Mr. B!
I'm very happy for you. I knew your vibes would shift the whole damn frequencies of the room when you walked into that job interview!

[Kiahanie]

Did you get a dog yet B? AKA chick magnet. 

Not yet. I mean, there is still Bo. He stays at the house with Mrs. B and the kids because they have a fenced in yard. I do not know how to train dogs so he is, unruly. And large. Getting old but still basically ferral.

Anyway. I have news!

Spent the last two days in middle Tennessee. Walked away with a job. Start March, 13th. Blew my nephew's mind. He works there. He said he has never seen anyone walk in for an interview and get an offer same day.

They even gave me what I asked for in pay. Starting out entry level making more an hour than I ever have in my life. Makes me wonder if I should have asked for more...

Hot damn. Your karma was bound to find you one day.

[Meat]

Yay.