Shari from SMART Recovery Here...

[Shari]

Pasta indicated an interest in having me share another tool or two, and let me share a couple that are related to Point #2: Coping with Urges.  Let's face it, anyone giving up an addictive behavior is going to have urges.  The thing is, urges won't kill you, whereas giving into one might.  But urges can be very uncomfortable when going through them.  Through time, they will lessen and go away.  But it may not seem that way initially, when they're coming at you left and right. It might not seem as if they're diminishing.  So, here's a tool that can be very helpful.  Keep an "Urge Log".  On a piece of paper, write down the following categories across the top:

Date / Time / Intensity Scale (on a 1-10) / How long it lasted / What prompted? / How did you handle? / Reaction to how you handled

Then, fill it out each time an urge strikes.  Not only can this help you to see that over time, the urges are less frequent, but it can also point out to you some potential triggers.  For example, do you get an urge at 5 PM every day on your way home from work?  Do you get an urge every time you drive by the liquor store or the park where you used to buy drugs? You can also begin to see that how you handled the urge, i.e., what's working for you, and employ those techniques when an urge strikes.

Here's another urge coping skill.  We call it "Catch the Wave".  (I'm going to copy this out of our SMART Recovery Handbook and paste it here):

Healthy human brains are blessed with remarkably short attention spans. This becomes clear whenever you try to concentrate on anything for any length of time. Poof! It?s gone, and some other thought is in its place!

Luckily, it?s also difficult to hold on to the thoughts and feelings that you don?t want to experience. Anger, fear, sorrow, pain, and depression will fly through your brain as quickly as pleasure. If you allow yourself to sit with these negative feelings, you?ll find they will pass.

Picture the emotion as a wave, and see yourself on a surfboard:

Ride that wave; Relax into the feeling; Be confident that it can?t last forever; Experience the surge; Wait for the ebb; Stay on top; Keep your balance; Don?t wipe out; If you don?t let it get away from you, it can?t hurt you. Your emotional tsunami will quickly subside to froth on the sand.

Emotion surfing is a powerful way to train yourself to experience the feelings that you want to feel and minimize the feelings that you want to avoid. It?s a lot harder to tell yourself that you can?t stand these destructive feelings when you make yourself realize that they are temporary. Don?t get carried away! Ride those emotions!

[catwixen]

Are you familiar with the Stages of Change?  (This is based on Prochaska, DiClemente and Norcross' book Changing for Good.)  Stage 1 is Precontemplation.  Stage 2 is Contemplation.  Stage 3 is Determination/Preparation.  Stage 4 is Action.  Stage 5 is maintenance. Stage 6 is Termination.  The interesting thing is that people don't necessarily start at Stage 1, and neatly progress through them, but sometimes go back and forth between the stages. I don't want to speak for you, but I'll paste in the first 3 stages, and perhaps you can ascertain where you feel you currently fit.  (You don't have to share that publicly, just trying to share some helpful ideas with you.)

1. Precontemplation(Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behavior that needs to be changed)
2. Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready or sure of  wanting to make a change)
3. Preparation/Determination (Getting ready to change)

Ha! My counsellor brought this exact thing up with me today.

It seems what you are doing at SMART recovery is cognitive therapy? You mention a lot of tools and ways of keeping aware of thoughts....very similar to the kind of therapy I have been getting for a while now.

It all makes a lot of sense...as I said the place where I fall is in the "action" stage. I dip my toe in the water, join a club or go to a meeting, then the fear takes over and I generally do not go back.

I am thinking at this point...because my counselling is only once a month, that SMART recovery website and maybe the Womens sobriety website would be a good filler to keep me focused. Couldn't hurt if I am at home on computer all day anyway. LoL.

Thankyou for the links and info...

[Shari]

Hi, Cat!

Yes, much of the SMART Recovery program tools/techniques are based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  (I promise your therapist and I aren't in cahoots!)  ; )  We also use Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (I'll share an ABC tool at some point), and Motivational Enhancement techniques.

I think your idea to utilize the online communities of SMART Recovery and WFS are an excellent way forward.  As you note, you don't have to leave the comfort of home to do so.  I'm actually facilitating tonight's 7:30 Eastern Voice meeting.  (I don't usually facilitate, but our facilitator is recovering from a knee replacement surgery, and I volunteered to do so tonight.)  Feel free to join in!  It's our "accommodations" meeting, which is designed to move a little more slowly. I'm fond of that idea, because I confess I'm not good at multitasking, and when facilitating an online meeting, it's a challenge for me to keep an eye on the text, the people speaking, where we are in the meeting, the issues that have been raised and need to be addressed, etc.  I'll have a meeting helper in the room, and the best thing is that as the facilitator, I simply need to keep things moving forward, and the attendees share tools and help with one another.  :)  Do feel free to join in!  (You'll need to register for our online activities.  The meeting rooms are available via a link on our message boards on the upper left corner of the page.  Tonight's 7:30 meeting will be in The Voice Room.)

I'll be honest and say that those few times I do fill in for a facilitator, I tend to feel a little anxious. I can sometimes place irrational demand on myself, i.e., "this meeting MUST be perfect".  Or worry about "what if I say something stupid, or don't think of a tool I SHOULD have recommended?"  Then when I think about it, the important thing is to open the meeting room, follow the agenda, and allow others to participate and share their tools and experiences.  If it's not a "perfect" meeting, so what?  It will very likely be helpful regardless!

Here's a link to a document on our website about dealing with anxiety about anxiety: http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/library/Tools_and_Homework/Encyclopedia/Coping_Statements_for_Dealing_With_Anxiety_About_Anxiety.pdf  See if that's at all helpful to you, as well.

[catwixen]

ahh thankyou ^ 

LOL yes everyone gets nervous sometimes don't they? It's a good thing to remember that.

[Shari]

I'll be away from the computer for a couple of hours.  I noticed that Kia was fond of me sharing a tool (as well as Pasta), so later today or tomorrow at latest I'll share an ABC with you.  (It's a tool related to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy -- it's a fabulous tool for coping with urges AND for dealing with emotional upsets.)

See you later!  Dive in if you have any questions.

[Kiahanie]

+1 for sharing, Cat.

[Former Believer]

+1 for sharing, Cat.

Ditto.

[Shari]

Yes, kudos to cat for sharing!  Now, who's ready for the ABC tool?  (She hears the roar of the crowd.)   

The ABC tool is part of Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.  The concept is to allow us to examine things that happen to us, our irrational beliefs behind the situation, and come up with more rational/helpful beliefs.  This tool can be used both for a specific recovery-oriented event, or for emotional upsets.  Here's how it works...

A = Activating Event
B = Beliefs
C = Consequences
D = Dispute the irrational beliefs
E =  Effective new beliefs

Let me give an example:

Let's say the Activating Event is you had a very strong Urge to Use.

A = strong urge to use

then we go to C, the consequences

C = it's a very uncomfortable urge, experiencing anxiety that I'll give in to it

then we examine our Beliefs, which may be along the lines of:

B = This urge is unbearable!  I can't stand it!
       This urge is so powerful it will make me use.
      This urge won't go away until I use.
      This urge is driving me crazy!

Now, we want to examine our Beliefs, and determine if they're rational or irrational.  Then we dispute those which are irrational.  In this case, that may look like this:

D = Where's the evidence that this urge is unbearable and I can't stand it? 
       Is there any evidence that an urge makes me use?
       Is there any evidence that this urge won't go away?
       Where's the evidence that this urge is driving me crazy?

Then we move on to the E, or Effective new beliefs (which are rational alternatives, so to speak)

E = There's no evidence the urge is unbearable.  There is evidence that the urge is hard to bear, but not impossible, and 
          there's evidence I don't like it.  But, because I'm standing, I CAN stand it!
       There's no evidence that the urge can make me use.  It's unpleasant, but it doesn't force me to do anything.  Nothing
           makes me use, I can decide not to.
       There's no evidence it won't go away until I use.  It may take a while to go away if I don't use, but nothing says it will
           remain if I don't use.  Urges are time limited and the urge will go away whether or not I decide to use.
       There's no evidence the urge is driving me crazy.  I may drive myself crazy about the urge, but the urge doesn't do it to
           me.  I can choose not to be disturbed by this urge.  I don't have to go crazy about it, I will remain sane while I live
           through it.

Here's another example:

A = Going to a recovery group meeting tonight.

C = Very anxious, nervous, uptight, distressed.

B = If I go to this meeting sober, I'll be a nervous wreck.
      I'll look stupid in the meeting, because everyone will be able to see my anxiety and distress.
      If I have to speak, my voice will probably waver, and I'll look even stupider.
      I'd be better off just staying home and drinking.

D = Does the world care if I'm nervous about attending a meeting?  Would I be the first ever to be nervous when I attend?
      If it's obvious to people that I'm anxious and distressed, might they reach out to me, vs. thinking I look stupid? (And do I
         really care if these people think I look stupid?)
      If I choose to speak in the meeting, I can do so, and if my voice wavers because I'm nervous, the group is probably used
          to hearing from nervous participants.
      If I choose to stay home and drink, is that helping me to achieve my goals?  No. 

E = I'd be better off attending the meeting, risking feeling stupid, but receiving help and input from others.

ABCs take some practice, but boy, they can be so helpful in life.  They can even assist in other situations, such as:

A = A driver just cut me off on the freeway.

C = I'm totally pissed off, angry, and wish I could get even.

B = The idiot should learn how to drive!
      He shouldn't have cut me off!
      The cops should arrest him and his license should be taken away.

D = Whose to say he doesn't know how to drive, and maybe I was in his blind spot or he simply didn't realize how close I
           was.
       Ah, yes, would be nice if he hadn't cut me off, but people do it every day, and I wasn't harmed.
       While he'd do well to practice more safe driving, there's no evidence that he's an idiot and shouldn't be allowed on the
           roads.

E = While I'm still a little shaken up, I'm no longer angry and I won't let that guy ruin my day.

You can see how this process can relieve stress, anxiety, anger, etc. 

I hope those examples help.  If anyone has a real life situation and would like to practice one, go for it!  We won't laugh at you or think you're stupid, and even if we did, would it still not be a valuable experience for you?   
     
     
     
   

[David M]

Wow, that sounds like a lot of work.  Too much for my ADD brain to handle.  Good thing there are different methods for different people!  In AA we often say, "What keeps you sober might get me drunk, and what keeps me sober might get you drunk."

When I used to get urges, I'd just ask God to remove it, tell myself that if it didn't go away I could always get drunk tomorrow, tell somebody what I'm thinking so I don't start obsessing about the thought, and then turn my thoughts to someone I can help.  Problem solved.

Same formula works today for any negative thought or emotion, like fear, anger, dishonesty or selfishness.

It's kind of funny, because on this forum we've talked a lot about how some people just can't wrap their minds around the God idea as a way of keeping sober.  For me, it is just the opposite.  If I had to rely on stuff like "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy," or "Cognitive Behavior Therapy,"  I'd go nuts!  It sounds to me like I'm just playing mind games with myself, which is what I used to do to justify drinking in the first place.  But with AA, all I have to do is trust God, clean house, and help others, and the desire to drink just goes away.  I don't have to fight it.

Imagine that.

[Airyaman]

It's kind of funny, because on this forum we've talked a lot about how some people just can't wrap their minds around the God idea as a way of keeping sober.

David, it may have something to do with most of our members not believing in any gods?

That is why it is important that there are alternatives such as SMART for those who do not want to have to try to force some type of belief. If an atheist some how made the AA way work for them, how long would they stay sober when they again questioned a belief in a higher being?

[Jay]

well....its a good thing there are options for different types of people then.  Wouldn't you say so David?

[QuestionMark]

David,
The Bible is filled with reasons and arguments for why we should change our thinking, how we should manage our impulses and feelings. In some cases God is pleased to answer our prayers supernaturally, and in other cases He is pleased to answer them by normative means.
Looking forward,
QM

[David M]

Yes, jay, it's a good thing there are options.

But regarding Airyaman's question, about half of the people who come to AA are atheist or agnostic, and most of the rest who believe in God aren't too thrilled with the God they believe in or they don't believe that God can help them stay sober.

What happens, though, is that alcohol has finally beaten us into a state of reasonableness, in which we're willing to try just about anything, even God, because we can see the evidence right in front of us that it is working for the other people in AA.  So, we put one foot in front of the other, take the steps, and, sure enough, it works.

Then, we believe.

Sadly, some alcoholics are so belligerently opposed to the God idea that they would rather die an alcoholic death than live a spiritual life, and for them, AA offers little or no hope.

[Jay]

Yes, jay, it's a good thing there are options.

But regarding Airyaman's question, about half of the people who come to AA are atheist or agnostic, and most of the rest who believe in God aren't too thrilled with the God they believe in or they don't believe that God can help them stay sober.

What happens, though, is that alcohol has finally beaten us into a state of reasonableness, in which we're willing to try just about anything, even God, because we can see the evidence right in front of us that it is working for the other people in AA.  So, we put one foot in front of the other, take the steps, and, sure enough, it works.

Then, we believe.

Sadly, some alcoholics are so belligerently opposed to the God idea that they would rather die an alcoholic death than live a spiritual life, and for them, AA offers little or no hope.

Could it also be....that they are not choosing death over a 'spiritual life', instead....that they simply don't believe?  Therefore that program just can not work for them? 

That AA, while great for some, is not always the 'right' solution for others?  That someone can give up alcohol, or other substances, without 'finding god'?

[David M]

Yes, jay, it's a good thing there are options.

But regarding Airyaman's question, about half of the people who come to AA are atheist or agnostic, and most of the rest who believe in God aren't too thrilled with the God they believe in or they don't believe that God can help them stay sober.

What happens, though, is that alcohol has finally beaten us into a state of reasonableness, in which we're willing to try just about anything, even God, because we can see the evidence right in front of us that it is working for the other people in AA.  So, we put one foot in front of the other, take the steps, and, sure enough, it works.

Then, we believe.

Sadly, some alcoholics are so belligerently opposed to the God idea that they would rather die an alcoholic death than live a spiritual life, and for them, AA offers little or no hope.

Could it also be....that they are not choosing death over a 'spiritual life', instead....that they simply don't believe?  Therefore that program just can not work for them? 

No.  You don't have to believe in God in order to have success with the AA program.  All that is required is a willingness to believe in a power greater than one's self, and to take certain steps.  Nothing more.  So the people who do not have success with AA are not the people who do not believe.  It is the people who will not believe.

That AA, while great for some, is not always the 'right' solution for others?  That someone can give up alcohol, or other substances, without 'finding god'?

I have already agreed that other alternatives are needed for those who won't try AA.  What more do you want me to say?

[Jay]

Yes, jay, it's a good thing there are options.

But regarding Airyaman's question, about half of the people who come to AA are atheist or agnostic, and most of the rest who believe in God aren't too thrilled with the God they believe in or they don't believe that God can help them stay sober.

What happens, though, is that alcohol has finally beaten us into a state of reasonableness, in which we're willing to try just about anything, even God, because we can see the evidence right in front of us that it is working for the other people in AA.  So, we put one foot in front of the other, take the steps, and, sure enough, it works.

Then, we believe.

Sadly, some alcoholics are so belligerently opposed to the God idea that they would rather die an alcoholic death than live a spiritual life, and for them, AA offers little or no hope.

Could it also be....that they are not choosing death over a 'spiritual life', instead....that they simply don't believe?  Therefore that program just can not work for them? 

No.  You don't have to believe in God in order to have success with the AA program.  All that is required is a willingness to believe in a power greater than one's self, and to take certain steps.  Nothing more.  So the people who do not have success with AA are not the people who do not believe.  It is the people who will not believe.

That willingness is what I would refer to as a desire to change.  A desire to give up alcohol(in this specific instance). If one doesn't want to give up alcohol, no program can really work.  So, in that aspect, I agree with you.  However, if it was me, I would not be able to believe in a higher power, no matter how much I desired to give up alcohol, simply for the sake of giving up alcohol.  To me....it would always be a lie to myself.  And I would imagine that I am not alone in that thought....

That AA, while great for some, is not always the 'right' solution for others?  That someone can give up alcohol, or other substances, without 'finding god'?

I have already agreed that other alternatives are needed for those who won't try AA.  What more do you want me to say?

[/quote]
You dont have to answer my questions....they were only questions.  If it makes you uncomfortable answering them, I apologize for asking them.

[rickymooston]

I'm curious about your answer to cats question

Can't help owndering about the assumptions in
The following statement, "without alcohol there
is no life outside my house"

Reminds me of another statement that "I need
Alcohol to make me sleep" and from another friend
"I need alcohol to stop my hands from shaking"

Shari you mentioned a costs benfits column?

Curious about finding root causes and ways to deal

In cat's case, the root problem seems to be "I
Can't enjoy life outside my house"

Does your method probe deeper becuase my intuition
Is that's where to go.

People look for a silver bullet when in
Fact the have a fully loaded gun inside their
Pocket.

Don't they?

[Shari]

Good evening to all!  I enjoyed facilitating one of our online meetings this evening, so I'm a tad late to this party. :)

Seems we all agree that having choice is important and a good thing for any/all who genuinely seek to overcome an addictive behavior.  And we've got living proof via David that AA can work.  And I have the pleasure of knowing many people who would be living proof that SMART Recovery can work.  And, actually, the Executive Directors at Women for Sobriety, SOS and LifeRing are living proof those programs work. With the # of people in need, I'm not sure that there can be too many programs to meet the variety of needs!

Anyway, Ricky asked:  Shari you mentioned a costs benfits column?  Curious about finding root causes and ways to deal
In cat's case, the root problem seems to be "I Can't enjoy life outside my house" Does your method probe deeper becuase my intuition is that's where to go.

Poor Cat may think we're singling her out here, but that's because she was kind enough to share her situation.  So, yes, Cat would benefit from doing a Cost/Benefit Analysis.  I also think that she'd benefit from an ABC.  In fact, in one of the ABC examples I gave, I sort of tried to use Cat's example of not feeling comfy leaving the house unless she's been drinking. 

The SMART Recovery program helps people review their thoughts and feelings, and how those impact their behavior.  Often times there are irrational thoughts involved.  If we can get rid of the irrational thinking, combined with other tools, there can be a way forward and goal setting and achievement of those goals.  For those who were able to achieve "natural recovery", i.e., no program, no therapy, no treatment ... just made a personal decision and overcame the behavior, four thumbs up!  For others, it requires work of tools.  And yet for others, it's the spiritual component, i.e., prayer, belief that God will see you through it.  Again, regardless of the path, if the end goal is achieved, it's a beautiful thing.

I liked QuestionMark's statement (as a believer): In some cases God is pleased to answer our prayers supernaturally, and in other cases He is pleased to answer them by normative means.

I don't think SMART Recovery "flies in the face" of any religious beliefs one may have.  QM sort of alludes to the fact that if you're a believer, and God gave you a brain, then he's probably not horrified if you use it (along with any guidance you seek from God) to attain your goal.

Anyway, lots of great conversation.  And I confess I'm going to again soon turn off the computer. Started at 7:30 this morning, and am ready for a little time away from the computer.  But, will be back again tomorrow and will look forward to additional ideas/input/questions.

Sleep well, all!

[Airyaman]

Seems we all agree that having choice is important and a good thing for any/all who genuinely seek to overcome an addictive behavior.  And we've got living proof via David that AA can work.  And I have the pleasure of knowing many people who would be living proof that SMART Recovery can work.  And, actually, the Executive Directors at Women for Sobriety, SOS and LifeRing are living proof those programs work. With the # of people in need, I'm not sure that there can be too many programs to meet the variety of needs!

I think this is an important paragraph. We had a long discussion on here in the past of just how effective AA was. But that should not be the focus, unless a program is obviously a failure and potentially harmful. What we should realize is that any program that is beneficial to some is successful for those people.

[SkunkButt]

I don't have any substance addictions but reading this thread has opened my eyes to the difficulty one can face with out of control addictions. Wow I don't want to go there.

Keep up the good work.

One question: "Do you face any burnout problems in your job?" If you do how do you cope with it?

[FGOH]

I think the ABDCE approach is interesting. I agree with DavidM that it looks at first glance a bit complicated or intimidating when written down. To me, it kind of boils down to asking oneself, in response to the urge:

What is the worst thing (realistically) that can happen if I resist the urge?

So in example 1, to me the worst result would be that the urge hangs around making me feel bad until it goes away

In example 2, to me the worst result would be that I might sound a bit silly at the meeting

In example 3, to me the worst result would be that the idiot driver will drive on, oblivious of his idiocy

Then you think "Is the worst case scenario unlivable with?"

If you are still unconvinced I guess you then go through the worst case scenarios if you give in to the urge, which are likely going to be worse than those involved in resisting the urge.

Have I gone totally off base?

[catwixen]

What I like about the cognitive approach is that it is within our own power to be aware and challenge our thoughts.
Feels like we can do something actively with our own recovery...rather than putting it into someone elses hands.

[David M]

The theory of combatting urges with rational thought is a good one, the practical problem with it for most alcoholics is that the urges become so powerful that they overwhelm all rational thought, the insane idea that, "this time it will be different" or "I'll just have a couple to calm my nerves" wins out and we're off and running.  Then, once the drinking starts, mental obsession is replaced by physical compulsion, and we don't stop drinking until we run out, pass out, or hit a brick wall, sometimes literally.  Or, perhaps there is no thought at all, we just begin drinking as casually as if we were drinking lemonade, completely oblivious to the consequences, and the next day we wake up not only hung over but desparately confused, wondering how it happened.

Non-alcoholics who try to reason with us become extremely frustrated trying to understand this behavior, as it makes absolutely no sense to them.  There is no parallel in their own experience for them to compare to it as they lack the same internal triggers the set the ball rolling for those of us who cannot stop drinking based on self-knowledge and will power alone.  On the other hand, when working with other alcoholics, trying to help them achieve or maintain sobriety, the thought of drinking either doesn't occur to us, or if it does, we react to it the same way we would react to the urge to put our hand on a hot stove, and it quickly passes.

[David M]

What I like about the cognitive approach is that it is within our own power to be aware and challenge our thoughts.
Feels like we can do something actively with our own recovery...rather than putting it into someone elses hands.

Cat, I think you and others misunderstand what we mean when we talk about being powerless.  All we are saying is that we have discovered, through bitter trial and error, that at certain times we have no effective mental defense against the first drink and, once we start drinking, no way to predict how much we will drink.  Recovery isn't about putting it in someone else's hands, it is about joining hands with others who have overcome the same problem and engaging in a vigorous course of action that rearranges our thinking automatically so that the drinking idea loses its power to overwhelm our otherwise rational behavior.

It is only at that point, when we have been restored to sanity, that cognitive strategies can be effective in keeping us sober and rebuilding our lives.

[Shari]

I don't have any substance addictions but reading this thread has opened my eyes to the difficulty one can face with out of control addictions. Wow I don't want to go there.

Keep up the good work.

One question: "Do you face any burnout problems in your job?" If you do how do you cope with it?

Hi, Skunk!  I'm so pleased you've been reading this even though you don't have a substance addiction, because it's likely that through time, you'll encounter someone who does have an addiction, and you'll be able to share some ideas! 

Burnout.  Hmmm.  In my case, I feel it on occasion, but it's mostly related to the amount of time spent working. We're an international organization with 1 3/4 staff members (plus 2 part-time consultants for our online activities).  When I get to feeling that way, I make a concerted effort to simply walk away from the computer for a time and do something that I enjoy.  When I feel a bit refreshed, I return.  But I will admit that I love my job, and witnessing changed lives on a daily basis makes feeling burnout less likely than if I was in, say an accounting position and working lots of hours.  :)

[Shari]

I think the ABDCE approach is interesting. I agree with DavidM that it looks at first glance a bit complicated or intimidating when written down. To me, it kind of boils down to asking oneself, in response to the urge:

What is the worst thing (realistically) that can happen if I resist the urge?

So in example 1, to me the worst result would be that the urge hangs around making me feel bad until it goes away

In example 2, to me the worst result would be that I might sound a bit silly at the meeting

In example 3, to me the worst result would be that the idiot driver will drive on, oblivious of his idiocy

Then you think "Is the worst case scenario unlivable with?"

If you are still unconvinced I guess you then go through the worst case scenarios if you give in to the urge, which are likely going to be worse than those involved in resisting the urge.

Have I gone totally off base?

I'm quite fond of the way you're looking at this, FGOH.  The point of the ABC is to come to terms with a new effective belief or behavior, after having examined beliefs (some of which are likely irrational).  So, if this "distilled" version works for you, give it a whirl!  And yes, I think I mentioned that the ABCs take practice.  After doing them for a period of time, they start to occur almost automatically, but initially, it takes practice for sure!

[Former Believer]

What I like about the cognitive approach is that it is within our own power to be aware and challenge our thoughts.
Feels like we can do something actively with our own recovery...rather than putting it into someone elses hands.

I agree 100 percent, Cat!  I have found this belief to be extremely empowering in overcoming my addictions.

[Shari]

What I like about the cognitive approach is that it is within our own power to be aware and challenge our thoughts.
Feels like we can do something actively with our own recovery...rather than putting it into someone elses hands.

That's great, Cat!  I'm delighted that the cognitive approach is helpful to you.  May not be to all, but it sure resonates with a lot of people.  And, yes, it does require active participation, for sure.

[Former Believer]

The theory of combatting urges with rational thought is a good one, the practical problem with it for most alcoholics is that the urges become so powerful that they overwhelm all rational thought, the insane idea that, "this time it will be different" or "I'll just have a couple to calm my nerves" wins out and we're off and running.  Then, once the drinking starts, mental obsession is replaced by physical compulsion, and we don't stop drinking until we run out, pass out, or hit a brick wall, sometimes literally.  Or, perhaps there is no thought at all, we just begin drinking as casually as if we were drinking lemonade, completely oblivious to the consequences, and the next day we wake up not only hung over but desparately confused, wondering how it happened.

This has been your contention on more than one occasion, David.  Again, here is my response from one of our previous conversations:

This is one half of the equation.  The other half, which apparently neither of you has experienced yet, is what we in AA call the "strange mental blank spots" that precede the first drink.  This is, some of us, well adjusted in virtually every other respect, have upon occasion yielded to some trivial excuse to take a drink or not even thought about it at all, until we had already gone way past the green light and into oblivion.

I have experienced what you are talking about--many, many times.  One minute I was thinking "This time I'm really going to keep my vow to never drink again" and then the next minute I was drinking.  When I woke up the next morning, I was baffled by how my firm resolve had dissipated so easily.  It's sort of like when you are talking to someone while driving and are more or less on "autopilot".  You don't think a lot about the green lights and the left turns you made and soon you are somewhere and don't even remember driving there.  This is where Jack Trimpey's concept of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique is a valuable tool.  Until an addict modifies his behavior, it is especially important for an addict to be extra vigiliant in surveying the landscape for boozing opportunities and triggers.  Like an air traffic controller, he must be on the alert for those brief moments in time that can turn a sober day into an intoxicated one. 

In many instances, I think that "strange mental blank spots" is probably a misnomer and mischaracterization for what happens.  Although it almost seems as if one mindlessly picks up a drink, there is a trigger that stimulates a desire to drink and a decision to pick up that drink.  Due to habituation, this decision may be deeply rooted in the subconscious.  However, there is often that "uncomfortable moment", when a drinker feels that tug within him saying "this is a bad idea" that he ignores.  He gives into the urge, essentially "shuts off" the thinking portion of his brain and decides to "screw it, do it".  I'm guessing both you and Pasta know what I'm talking about.

In either case, I don't believe a higher power is needed to remedy the problem.  What is needed is increased awareness of the "addictive voice" (a Trimpey term) and the ability to effectively confront it when temptation presents itself.

[Shari]

On the other hand, when working with other alcoholics, trying to help them achieve or maintain sobriety, the thought of drinking either doesn't occur to us, or if it does, we react to it the same way we would react to the urge to put our hand on a hot stove, and it quickly passes.

I like that analogy, David!