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a new joke thread?

Started by none, May 02, 2024, 07:29:30 AM

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a new joke thread?

yes
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yes
3 (60%)
no
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Total Members Voted: 5

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none

May 02, 2024, 07:29:30 AM
you know you are old when you have to schedule leaving the house.
the candle can only be lit so many times.

Dexter

#1
May 02, 2024, 11:11:27 AM
A man goes to a funeral and asks the widow, Mind if I say a word?" She says: "Please do." The man clears his throat and says: "Plethora." 
The widow replies: "Thanks, that means a lot."
I begin today by acknowledging the Ngarluma people, Traditional Custodians of the land on which I work and live, and pay my respects to their Elders past and present. I extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

Shnozzola

#2
May 02, 2024, 09:47:10 PM Last Edit: May 02, 2024, 10:04:58 PM by Shnozzola
Screenshot-20240502-174816-Gallery" border="0
Ironically, the myriad  of "god" beliefs of humanity are proving to be more dangerous than us learning that we are on our own, making the way we treat each other far more important

Maria-Juana

#3
May 04, 2024, 03:33:24 AM
"In vino veritas." 🍷
—Pliny the Elder

none

#4
May 04, 2024, 08:01:12 AM Last Edit: May 04, 2024, 11:54:16 AM by none
osseff- officer, are you part of the gbtq...plus... or you just in the queue
the candle can only be lit so many times.

none

#5
May 06, 2024, 09:42:16 PM Last Edit: Yesterday at 03:49:16 PM by none
If I see another proud Dodge owner advertising cumin I'm cooking PASTA
the candle can only be lit so many times.

kevin

#6
May 06, 2024, 10:02:51 PM
Quote from: Shnozzola on May 02, 2024, 09:47:10 PMScreenshot-20240502-174816-Gallery" border="0

this makes no9 sense to me.i dont know any catholic phrases
may you bathe i the blood of a thousand sheep

Kiahanie

#7
May 06, 2024, 11:39:30 PM
Does the pope s**t in the woods?
"If there were a little more silence, if we all kept quiet ... maybe we could understand something." --Federico Fellini....."Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation" -Jellaludin Rumi,

Maria-Juana

#8
May 07, 2024, 04:20:45 AM
Quote from: kevin on May 06, 2024, 10:02:51 PM
Quote from: Shnozzola on May 02, 2024, 09:47:10 PMScreenshot-20240502-174816-Gallery" border="0

this makes no9 sense to me.i dont know any catholic phrases
"Holy Toledo!" ????
"Holy Smoke!" ???
"Holy Cow!" ??
"Holy s**t!" ?


"In vino veritas." 🍷
—Pliny the Elder

Boots

#9
May 07, 2024, 05:05:23 PM
Quote from: Maria-Juana on May 07, 2024, 04:20:45 AM
Quote from: kevin on May 06, 2024, 10:02:51 PM
Quote from: Shnozzola on May 02, 2024, 09:47:10 PMScreenshot-20240502-174816-Gallery" border="0

this makes no9 sense to me.i dont know any catholic phrases
"Holy Toledo!" ????
"Holy Smoke!" ???
"Holy Cow!" ??
"Holy s**t!" ?




Holy Frejoles!
Religion=institutionalized superstition

Apologetics=the art of making s**t up to make other made-up s**t sound more plausible

"To not believe in god is to know that it falls to us to make the world a better place."

~Sam Harris

kevin

#10
May 07, 2024, 05:21:57 PM
i guess you had to be there
may you bathe i the blood of a thousand sheep

Maria-Juana

#11
May 08, 2024, 02:33:46 AM
Quote from: Boots on May 07, 2024, 05:05:23 PM
Quote from: Maria-Juana on May 07, 2024, 04:20:45 AM
Quote from: kevin on May 06, 2024, 10:02:51 PM
Quote from: Shnozzola on May 02, 2024, 09:47:10 PMScreenshot-20240502-174816-Gallery" border="0

this makes no9 sense to me.i dont know any catholic phrases
"Holy Toledo!" ????
"Holy Smoke!" ???
"Holy Cow!" ??
"Holy s**t!" ?




Holy Frejoles!
Holy grass.  ||Ben||
"In vino veritas." 🍷
—Pliny the Elder

Maria-Juana

#12
May 08, 2024, 02:37:44 AM
"In vino veritas." 🍷
—Pliny the Elder

Maria-Juana

#13
May 08, 2024, 02:50:42 AM
Quote from: kevin on May 07, 2024, 05:21:57 PMi guess you had to be there
This is the best explanation I found.

QuoteThe TV series Robin of the Batman is known for its many "holy" exclamations. Robin, Batman's sidekick, would often use an exclamation that started with the word "holy" and then included something related to what he was talking about in the episode. For example, if there was smoke, he would say "holy smoke!" .


Some say that the "holy" expressions originate from the Roman Catholic practice of exclaiming "Holy Mary mother of God". Others say that "holy smoke" comes from fire smoke, black or white, to signify a new pope has or hasn't been elected. "Holy cow" comes from the sacred cows of India.
"In vino veritas." 🍷
—Pliny the Elder

Kiahanie

#14
May 08, 2024, 04:31:14 AM
Smoke has always been holy. It symbolizes the transition from some thing to the spirit world. Maya ancestors would communicate through smoke. Smoke is purifying among many indigenous peoples.

Nope. Popes can't take credit for holy smoke. It was holy long before them.
"If there were a little more silence, if we all kept quiet ... maybe we could understand something." --Federico Fellini....."Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation" -Jellaludin Rumi,

Maria-Juana

#15
May 08, 2024, 05:29:58 PM
Quote from: Kiahanie on May 08, 2024, 04:31:14 AMSmoke has always been holy. It symbolizes the transition from some thing to the spirit world. Maya ancestors would communicate through smoke. Smoke is purifying among many indigenous peoples.

Nope. Popes can't take credit for holy smoke. It was holy long before them.
Yep. The holy peace pipe was there before The holy Pope.
||smiley||
"In vino veritas." 🍷
—Pliny the Elder

none

#16
Yesterday at 02:46:13 PM
My son must have played navy when he was a kid
the candle can only be lit so many times.

none

#17
Today at 05:37:35 AM
there is a reason DONALD Trump likes McDonalds....
the candle can only be lit so many times.
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