God and the monkeys

[cmarie]

The monkeys are my kids, aged 8 and 6 1/2 - and they are little monkeys.

Tonight my youngest requested a prayer before dinner and asked me to say it. So I did. Not in Jesus name, just a thank you for my beautiful children and the food we are about to eat, amen. That satisfied them. They request this every few months and I see no reason not to do it.

My kids believe in God, but have little religious knowledge. They do not know what an atheist is or much less that I am one, but they are learning to have inquiring minds. They come home with stories about demons, or so and so watches me at night, or there is a bad man under the ground who will get me unless I pray to jesus. And so far I have succeeded in making them see how that cannot possibly be true.

When my son came home and told me of the bad man under the ground I told him flat out that is a LIE. Noone has EVER found this man or any evidence of him. I have personally looked for him and he is nowhere to be found. After many questions and discussions about various things they are told by people, half of which come from people their own age(haha), they now question everything. They seem to understand that people believe all sorts of crazy things - even adults.

What gets me is adults telling my kids things that simply are not true. For example, my kids were told by relatives (my ex in-laws) that if they would pray for me that God would heal me. I was very sick at the time and my oldest in particular was very worried about me. He came home determined to be good enough so God would heal me. What a burden for a 7 year old to carry! (he was 7 at the time). I thanked him profusely, but told him God is not going to heal me or he would have by now. I am just sick and that is the reality of it. As a parent that just killed me, my kids thinking that somehow they are responsible...if they can be good enough then their mom will get better. HORRIBLE!

I will not tell my kids yet that I don't believe in God. I tell them it is all a mystery and noone really knows, but keep asking questions. I always encourage the questions. I think they are too young to find their spiritual truth yet, but I hope to foster independent thought in them. The ability to be skeptical of everyone, including me, and to keep asking questions until they find their answers.

They need the ability not just to fend off religion, but all the BS that is spewed forth. Including the crazy stuff they hear on the playground!

Why do adults tell kids such things? To convert them when they are too young to think critically. When they are so young that any adult is an authority. To make them fear God. To make them comply. To make them sheep. It must nearly impossible for children raised by parents who instill these things in them to get out of the religious mindset, because that primal fear still resides deep inside of them from early childhood.

I can see the time approaching when I will have to tell them my beliefs, but I don't know that they are ready. And I do not want to unduly influence them at such a young age, I don't want their minds closed on the subject, I want them to be open.

One thing that is rubbing off on my kids is the study of nature. They don't miss a beat. They study everything by observation, close observation. My daughter even caught a snake the other day, I used to do that! They have so many questions about nature, I am having to relearn a lot. They definitely see the pattern of how everything dies.

Just my thoughts on raising kids to be skeptical, without taking away the magic of childhood. It can be hard sometimes.

[Son of Man]

Cmarie, that's great that you're teaching kids critical thinking skills.  My dad is a conspiracy theorist, so I had to figure it out on my own.  Even if you have all the right answers, just telling your kids what to think doesn't teach them how to think.

[rickymooston]

Nice post Marie. Agree with SoM, great your teaching critical thinking skills for your kids.

Your handling sounds real. I'm pretty sure I was pretty young when my mom told me she was atheist and that this life is all there is.

Sorry, you can't repeat a karma action without waiting 4 hours.

[seka]

What gets me is adults telling my kids things that simply are not true. For example, my kids were told by relatives (my ex in-laws) that if they would pray for me that God would heal me. I was very sick at the time and my oldest in particular was very worried about me. He came home determined to be good enough so God would heal me. What a burden for a 7 year old to carry! (he was 7 at the time). I thanked him profusely, but told him God is not going to heal me or he would have by now. I am just sick and that is the reality of it. As a parent that just killed me, my kids thinking that somehow they are responsible...if they can be good enough then their mom will get better. HORRIBLE!

Yes, it is horrible, and it's probably just as bad that many people will consider telling the child this type of thing to be a way of comforting them. They don't even realize that what they are teaching the child is that it is the child's fault when things don't get better! Your kids are lucky, in having you for a mother - there are others who would encourage this type of thinking.

[CoryT]

I've been spending an extended amount of time on my blog lately discussing the bondage of the human free will to sin. The reality is that no one is ever "good enough" to please God by meritorious works. It is terrible that anyone would have a seven year old believe that he can be "good enough" to heal his sick mother. That's just terrible theology.

Theism isn't a form of mind control the way that most atheists see it. It is accepting the fact that you are a sinner, that you are bound by your fallen nature to sin always, and that nothing you do personally can bridge the gap between you and the divine. Fortunately, you don't have to--the divine has bridged this gap for you through the sacrifice of his only Son, Jesus. That righteousness before God comes by faith, not by works.

Saving faith produces good works. It produces a change in behavior, it bears good fruit. This fruit doesn't earn you any points or favor with God. It helps the world around you become a better place.

Mind you, this is all in theory. In practice, it has the tendency to become mind control. Throwing off those shackles was difficult for me and took deep study of the Bible to realize that it wasn't about laws; it was about producing a genuine character change. Now people notice that change in me, even a hardened skeptic like my father has noticed that I'm different since professing faith in Christ. As St. Francis put it, "There's no point walking to witness unless our walk is our witness."

[cmarie]

Thank you all for your replies. It is encouraginging. :)

Mind you, this is all in theory. In practice, it has the tendency to become mind control. Throwing off those shackles was difficult for me and took deep study of the Bible to realize that it wasn't about laws; it was about producing a genuine character change. Now people notice that change in me, even a hardened skeptic like my father has noticed that I'm different since professing faith in Christ. As St. Francis put it, "There's no point walking to witness unless our walk is our witness."

Welcome CoryT! I like your avatar.

Yes, throwing off the shackles is very hard, and that is why I don't want my kids to have them. It can be hard though with all of the things people tell them.

How do you feel, having thrown the shackles of the law off, about those who put those shackles on you? And who continue to do so to other children? Some people, many people, never break free. And the cycle perpetuates.

Now this brings up a rant about another mythological creature. My son lost his first tooth at his grandparent's house. Do you know what the tooth fairy is paying these days? 5.00 a tooth!!!!! I am sending them a bill, I can't afford that. LOL. I got a quarter when I was a kid.

[seka]

Hah! In my part of the world we didn't even have a tooth fairy. We had a white rabbit who would leave chocolate candy under the pillow. I only knew about it because my neighbor (about a year younger than me) told me about it when she started losing her teeth.

[CoryT]

Welcome CoryT! I like your avatar.

Yes, throwing off the shackles is very hard, and that is why I don't want my kids to have them. It can be hard though with all of the things people tell them.

How do you feel, having thrown the shackles of the law off, about those who put those shackles on you? And who continue to do so to other children? Some people, many people, never break free. And the cycle perpetuates.

Now this brings up a rant about another mythological creature. My son lost his first tooth at his grandparent's house. Do you know what the tooth fairy is paying these days? 5.00 a tooth!!!!! I am sending them a bill, I can't afford that. LOL. I got a quarter when I was a kid.

The avatar is one of the default choices, believe it or not. I really liked it, too.

As for the Catholic Church, who put the shackles of the law on me, I spend time on my blog explaining the inadequacies of the Church's theology.

And $5 per tooth? She only left me $1. I guess the tooth fairy keeps up with inflation.