Author Topic: Flirting 101.  (Read 344 times)  Share 

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Offline eyeshaveit

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Flirting 101.
« on: March 24, 2017, 01:05:08 PM »
What is 'flirting' ?

What is 'digital' flirting ?

Is flirting a human phenomenon ?

What are the signs and signals of flirting ?

Is flirting an indication of sexual availability ?

Are there different flirting 'rules' for men and women ?

How do you distinguish between a serial flirt and a bona fide interest ?

What is the value of flirting within the marriage bond; outside of the marriage ? 

Is flirting to be found in the biblical account; should Christians seek to engage in flirting ?


Offline Emma286

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2017, 03:30:02 PM »
I'm not the best expert with this subject.

But from what I know, flirting is when somebody behaves as though sexually attracted to somebody else. This can be done out of genuine interest or just in a jokey messing around kind of way with non serious intention.

Some signs can be making extra eye contact and then looking away, winking, smiling, casual light touching and using body language to draw the other person's attention to them (i.e leaning in close to the other person) teasing the other person in a humorous way and paying them compliments.
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Offline GratefulApe

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2017, 04:49:57 PM »
Flirting if you are married is wrong, period. I had a friend come to me once who was having trouble in that area. She said that she had read some article about the process? of flirting and that it's a very powerful emotional state. People make grave mistakes when they flirt while married.
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Offline Emma286

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2017, 05:23:09 PM »
I think if there's no attraction between two members of the opposite sex, and they're doing that kind of thing just to kid around, then it's harmless if either or both people are married/in relationships.

On the other hand, if there's feelings of attraction (on at least one of the people's part) then I don't think it's harmless.
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Offline FGOH

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2017, 07:08:31 PM »
I don't think flirting is exclusively sexual or a sign of availability. Sometimes it is done purely for fun. Sometimes it is done to serve a purpose; for example flirting with the bar tender or waiter to ensure more attentive service.
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Offline bad actor

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2017, 04:41:53 AM »
Flirting if you are married is wrong, period.

I agree, and it's a turn off too. It shows that the person that is flirting with you doesn't respect the person they made vows to. It is bound to lead to problems.

I've only had a married woman hit on me once and she was a friend of a friend. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. She was drunk and embarrassed and asked me not to say anything. I didn't and as far as I know they are still together. I hope she learned something from that.
“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” —G.K. Chesterton

Offline bad actor

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2017, 04:48:30 AM »
I don't think flirting is exclusively sexual or a sign of availability. Sometimes it is done purely for fun. Sometimes it is done to serve a purpose; for example flirting with the bar tender or waiter to ensure more attentive service.

Here in Las Vegas, NV there is a bar on almost every corner and most do well. Most hire attractive females to work the day and swing shifts. Flirting is their bread and butter. It's one of the biggest things that turns the guys into regulars. It's an art and the bartenders will get guys who take it too seriously.

I dated a bartender once. I liked her and she was flirty...but I didn't take it seriously until she started getting off her shift and sitting with me for a while. The owner of the bar told me that she never does that, so I asked her out. Only lasted a few months. ||smileysad||
“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” —G.K. Chesterton

Offline Emma286

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2017, 09:05:46 AM »
All very well to get bartenders sorting out those who take the flirting too seriously. But I'd rather the situation just didn't arise to start with. Plus, I actually can't entirely blame those who do accidentally take it too seriously. It can be hard to tell the difference at times between non serious and serious flirting.

I personally think it would be better all round if bar staff just acted in a normal friendly/chatty way to customers to prevent confusion. Over where I live, bar staff seem to usually behave like this anyway and it works out well so far as I can tell. 

Also, I certainly don't revisit places just because I like how bar men flirt. I go because of liking the bar atmosphere and for drinks (sometimes food) and to sometimes meet up with others and converse with them and that's it. But then, maybe I'm in the minority there...
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Offline eyeshaveit

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2017, 09:27:42 AM »
For me, bars are not for partying or the music, but for conversation, food and drinks. Can't imagine walking into a bar alone, unless it was for a quick lunch; sandwich and a drink.

Flirty servers, who get no reaction, rein it in very quickly; becoming merely attentive; always looking for the tip.

Offline Emma286

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2017, 09:48:01 AM »
I forgot about the music aspect. I do like it but not when it's so loud you can't hear the people you're with!

I rarely go to pubs/bars alone. Same with cafe's really (though I'm better with that than I used to be).
When I do it tends to be for the same kind of reasons, just a quick drink and maybe a bite to eat. That said, at a quiet time of day, in the right kind of cafe or pub, I'm probably at a point now I'd have little problem taking something like a magazine, paper or book with me and staying long enough to have a read too. Sometimes, for me, it's good to be out and about around some other people like that - as opposed to being cooped up indoors doing those sorts of things.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2017, 09:57:05 AM by Emma286 »
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."

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Offline bad actor

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2017, 10:00:27 AM »
All very well to get bartenders sorting out those who take the flirting too seriously. But I'd rather the situation just didn't arise to start with. Plus, I actually can't entirely blame those who do accidentally take it too seriously. It can be hard to tell the difference at times between non serious and serious flirting.

Well, it's usually not that big of a thing. Anybody who's from here should know not to take it too seriously.. It's mostly just calling the guy "honey" or "sweety" and remembering what they like to drink. It's not like they are climbing all over them or being suggestive. You will find that in the topless dancer places though...

Quote
Also, I certainly don't revisit places just because I like how bar men flirt. I go because of liking the bar atmosphere and for drinks (sometimes food) and to sometimes meet up with others and converse with them and that's it. But then, maybe I'm in the minority there...

That's why the bars hire FEMALE bartenders. lol
“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” —G.K. Chesterton

Offline bad actor

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2017, 10:14:01 AM »
For me, bars are not for partying or the music, but for conversation, food and drinks. Can't imagine walking into a bar alone, unless it was for a quick lunch; sandwich and a drink.

Flirty servers, who get no reaction, rein it in very quickly; becoming merely attentive; always looking for the tip.

Bars here make their money from the poker machines. When you sit at the bar, it's right in front of you. Unless something else is going on, like a pool tournament or darts or Karaoke... Most people don't want to talk, they are face down and all business with their machines. Those are the people that bars cater to. Most locals tip 10% of any jackpot or if they hit a royal or four aces... Bartenders on swing average about 3-500 on a shift...Now if a regular hits like 5 or 10,000... that's good money.... Not everybody tips well, but most do because they either work for tips or have family that does..this is Vegas.

I went to a little bar in Port Angeles, WA last year and hung out for quite a while... It was nice not having machines...Everybody was friendly and actually had conversations. I loved it. The bartenders were shocked to get tipped a couple of dollars for every beer because people there don't tip much I guess. It was a nice change... Not that I go to bars here much anymore, only if somebody I know wants to go or whatever.

Sorry about turning your flirt thread into a bar thread... ||smiley||

What is 'flirting' ?

Is flirting to be found in the biblical account; should Christians seek to engage in flirting ?


What is the correct answer for this question?
“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” —G.K. Chesterton

Offline eyeshaveit

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2017, 11:09:43 AM »
Sorry about turning your flirt thread into a bar thread... 

If that's where people spend their, then that's were they flirt. ||smiley||

Is flirting to be found in the biblical account ?

What is the correct answer for this question?

"Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out of a window and saw Isaac laughing with Rebekah his wife" - Genesis 26.

"When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it. And she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked out of the window." - 2 Kings 9.

"To preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes" - Proverbs 6.

"The daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet" - Isaiah 3.

Etc., etc.

Should Christians seek to engage in flirting ?

Probably not for most; a personal decision for the other few singles, carefully based on who, what and where. Mine is never to flirt, except with elderly women, and even then with a wince, as a couple of these ladies over the years have taken me seriously.

In the 'world' flirting is more than body language; listen to the conversation: you have to be 'quick' to pick it up, as it's not apt to be repeated. Many men have no clue when they are 'hit on', and most ladies will take that as just another rejection; it's all part of the 'game'.     

Offline bad actor

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2017, 01:39:10 AM »

 Mine is never to flirt, except with elderly women, and even then with a wince, as a couple of these ladies over the years have taken me seriously.
     

Be careful out there, enticing those old ladies....LOL. One of 'em might just snatch you up and show you a thing or two.. ||wink||
“There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” —G.K. Chesterton

Offline Emma286

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Re: Flirting 101.
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2017, 06:09:44 PM »
All very well to get bartenders sorting out those who take the flirting too seriously. But I'd rather the situation just didn't arise to start with. Plus, I actually can't entirely blame those who do accidentally take it too seriously. It can be hard to tell the difference at times between non serious and serious flirting.

Well, it's usually not that big of a thing. Anybody who's from here should know not to take it too seriously.. It's mostly just calling the guy "honey" or "sweety" and remembering what they like to drink. It's not like they are climbing all over them or being suggestive. You will find that in the topless dancer places though...

Quote
Also, I certainly don't revisit places just because I like how bar men flirt. I go because of liking the bar atmosphere and for drinks (sometimes food) and to sometimes meet up with others and converse with them and that's it. But then, maybe I'm in the minority there...

That's why the bars hire FEMALE bartenders. lol

Well it can be hard to tell non serious flirting from serious flirting at times!

I guess things are different where you're from than over here lol! Bars/pubs here (in England) hire both female and male bartenders! ||smiley||
"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."

Albert Einstein

 

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