caregivers

[Sita]

Jill,

Please accept my condolences.  You did a good thing by taking care of her, I'm sure that meant a lot to her.

 

[catwixen]

Jill, my condolences aswell. It must have been a very difficult few months.
Take good care of yourself.
 

[sky]

Jill,

My condolences to you for the loss of your mom.

[leese]

I'll be hoping that she's able to communicate with you that all is well with her now.  My grandfather cured me of panic attacks by calling to me one time several months after he died, and that was my first inkling that there was an afterlife, even if it's only in our memories.

 

-10

[rickymooston]

My mom passed peacefully in her sleep this morning.   I was by her side when she took her last breath.

All is well.   I'm okay.   

Sorry to hear. Life's tough sometimes.

My dad died in a hospice. The idea of pallative care is certainly compassionate. I still found it hard. Its also draining on the family.

My grandfather just died in september. He was almost 100 but got pneumonia suddenly.

;).

[rickymooston]

-10

The emotional feelings associated with death are hard, troubling and strangely varied, ... The hospice is designed to provide a dignified death as you well know I'm sure. Obviously there is a combination of sadness and relief involves combined with awkwardness on behalf of the people around the loved ones. Death is the most sadly universal experience but we really don;t know how to behave.

I choose to read views like David's in the context of their intent. Obviously I don't how Jill was impacted but over all, it sounds like she's doing o.k. after a very hard time. I'm hopeful she's still o.k.  Got to admit, perhaps, it wouldn't comfort me tho.

Its hard though. When my dad died, my brother went busy. I got sentimental. His busyness bugged me emotionally. Indeed his perceived "coldness" was a factor in his divorce; his wife's father died shortly after.  My brother's "coldness" pissed me off again when he casually mentioned they pulled the plug on my grandfather.

Peace and may you continue to navigate the Tao effectively.

[jill]

Obviously there is a combination of sadness and relief involves combined with awkwardness on behalf of the people around the loved ones. Death is the most sadly universal experience but we really don;t know how to behave.

This is so true.  This past week I've experienced the full range from cold and calculated (I am the executor of her will and the official paper pusher for all all that needs to be done after death including dealing with siblings), through selfish relief (having taken care of her pre and post stroke equaling almost 3 years in my home), to complete grief (in having to say goodbye to a dear friend and loving mother). 

I don't think there is any right way to behave.  We act according to our emotions, and our emotions are triggered by the context of the situation.  This past week I've behaved in ways that probably reflected sadness, happiness, cold heartedness, and optimism.   

 

[rickymooston]

  Moose note: you seemed to have born the brunt of the "caring". Sadly the "guilty" relief is part of that indeed as is the sadness you feel. My aunt felt the same way. I don't think I could of handled taking care of things as well as she did.

[Son of Man]

I'm just seeing this thread for the first time.  My condolences to you and your family.  You did a beautiful thing.

[faithangel50]

My mom passed peacefully in her sleep this morning.   I was by her side when she took her last breath.

All is well.   I'm okay.   

I am sorry Jill for your loss.
Faithangel